Miyares Visits Eastern Shore — Also Launches Donor “Get Out of Jail Free” Plan for Billionaires
EASTERN SHORE, Va. — Jason Miyares popped up at a law enforcement appreciation lunch and a radio interview this week, grinning and thanking the cops — all while quietly unveiling what insiders are calling the “Tough on Crime for Regular People, Donor Get-Out-of-Jail-Free Card Program.”
During his Eastern Shore stop, Miyares spoke about needs for more magistrates, faster search warrants, and cracking down on drug trafficking. He nodded in agreement with officers about trying to keep Virginia safe. That’s the cover story. The real headline? A new pay-to-escape justice scheme for his richest supporters.
Under the ambitious new (Tough on Regular People) plan:
A $10,000 campaign donation gets you off the hook for traffic tickets and misdemeanor charges.
A $100,000 campaign donation grants immunity from minor felony arrests.
And for multi-million-dollar donors, the exclusive “Epstein Platinum Card” ensures you’ll never even be charged — because, as Miyares emphasized, some files are just “too sensitive to release.”
Miyares said, “When you’re tough on crime, you don’t want to scare away the folks who keep your campaigns afloat.” He reassured the crowd he’d focus real enforcement on everyday criminals ….leaving the wealthy criminals safe to write more checks.
He ended his trip with a rally in Nassawadox, where he thanked law enforcement again, then quietly winked at donors in the back row. Public safety, apparently, just got priced by influence.
⚖️ Price Menu for Justice in Virginia – Courtesy of Jason Miyares 🐝
Bronze Donor Package – $10,000
🚗 All traffic tickets forgiven
🍺 DUI downgraded to “oops”
📜 Free bumper sticker: “I Brake for Campaign Checks”
Silver Donor Package – $100,000
🔓 Minor felonies? Consider them “youthful indiscretions”
💼 Complimentary courthouse valet parking
📬 Personal “Thank You” note signed with Jason’s favorite Sharpie
Gold Donor Package – $1,000,000+
🛑 No charges filed for anything short of treason
✈️ Private jet clearance over Eastern Shore
💵 Automatic invitation to all “law and order” luncheons
Platinum Epstein Package – Multi-Million Level
🧾 Absolute immunity from all investigations
👔 Files permanently sealed “for national security”
🎟️ Lifetime Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card with Miyares’s smiling headshot
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