“They’re Not Allowed to Do That”: Trump Says Protesters, Broadcasters Must Now Get Permission Slips from Mar-a-Lago

WASHINGTON — President Trump has once again declared open season on his critics, this time saying protesters who shouted at him during dinner in D.C. were not only rude but a “threat” deserving jail time. His solution? Treat heckling like organized crime and toss them in prison.

Trump insisted that yelling at him while he was trying to enjoy his crab legs was basically a national security risk. One diner said he hadn’t seen the man so rattled by four women since the last episode of The View.

The President also revived his call to brand “antifa” as a terrorist group, though nobody seems clear on how to arrest a movement that doesn’t have an office, a leader, or even a P.O. box. It’s a little like declaring “people who roll their eyes” a cartel.

Trump then claimed he had to “do something” about the “harmful language” of what he called “meanie progressives” to protect his “MAGA 2.0 Snowflakes.” He said he even offered them more guns, but they turned him down, worried they’d end up shooting each other over who’s the “most MAGAest.”

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