America’s Middle Class Vanishes, Trump Focuses on Amelia Earhart
WASHINGTON — While family farms collapse, grocery bills hit historic highs, and America’s middle class evaporates like mist on a hot July morning, President Donald Trump has finally sprung into action. His mission? Declassify the Amelia Earhart files.
“Her disappearance, almost 90 years ago, has captivated millions,” Trump announced proudly on Truth Social. “I have been asked by many people about Amelia. Such an interesting story. Very, very interesting.”
Critics noted that the only people asking Trump about Earhart were the voices in his own head, since most Americans are currently busy asking why they can’t afford rent, milk, or shoes for their kids.
“While regular families are going bankrupt, Trump’s out here pretending Amelia Earhart’s going to fly back in with cheap groceries in the cargo hold,” said one farmer staring at his foreclosure notice.
Historians confirm Earhart vanished in 1937 during her attempt to fly around the world. Economists confirm the American Dream vanished much more recently under Trumpanomics.
Still, the President insists this is about priorities. “Forget gas prices, forget food prices, forget small businesses going under. We need to know, once and for all, where Amelia landed. Maybe she was a Trump supporter. Maybe not. But we’ll find out.”
At press time, the White House confirmed no new plans to address inflation, farm foreclosures, or the middle-class collapse — but promised “tremendous clarity” on what happened to a pilot nearly a century ago.